I didnt realize you were a cop.. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? We all hope you enjoy your retirement. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! 38. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Cop: Where do you think youre going?, Driver: Donut shop, officer. Cop: At 80 miles per hour? Driver: I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.. 59. Retiring State Trooper Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. 3. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." 6. Why did the coffee call the police? Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. Humorous quotes and messages. A word of warning. It is the beginning of the open highway. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. Retirement Quotes. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. God bless the officers I work with. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." What do you call a snake that informs the police? Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." picclick.com. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . These words may help. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. Retirement is wonderful. Peter Lynch. Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? Present This to You as a Symbol of 43. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. Dave Ramsey. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. comprehensive, reliable. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. Hi Pension. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. - Unknown. 24. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. They serve and protect. Capitalize on what comes. Keep in touch . For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Jean Chatzky sums it up for me: "Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. "How did you get your answer?" "Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday." If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. as He inspires you every day. I cant get old; Im working. This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. So increasingly will be peace. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? ~ Ernie Harwell. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Take Us With You! I said, Scissors. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. And dont forget carefully crafted police chief retirement wishes and prayers for the man or woman at the helm of the department. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Two rounds a day are plenty. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. Off the clock - for good! I'm still not retired." Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? 1. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! Why did the police arrest the turkey? What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. 5. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. No matter your connection to or feelings for cops, police jokes will have the whole family laughing. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." and may you find joy and peace If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. We wish you the best retirement possible. I am graduating. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. I dont feel anything until noon. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. I win! and drove off. We, Your Friends and Brothers, I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. 32. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. - Jonathan Clements. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". 2. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Whos there? 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Also, congratulations, Boss! Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. Police retirement is something special. Live well and prosper. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Before you criticize, wait. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." I did not write the law. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." 49. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. Best wishes! You cant win until you do this. Financial Planning Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. Because it was mugged. 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of picclick.com. 10. Retirement Party. Just buy the haystack. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. quotesgram.com. 13. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. "You will be alone. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? to date. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Police Retirement. I believe in financial retirement. Are you a police officer? The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. more on this quote . Retirement! Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. Act like the inner young person you have always been." Betty White. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" May the wife have a happy time. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 57. A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! 42. A trisara-cop. Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. And what do they give us? in all your future endeavors! But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! Quote #20. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. Share this quote on facebook send via mail. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. May you enjoy your retirement! There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". 10. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! We go. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . The job you waited for for 50 years! Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! 11. You may also share these fun retirement quotes. West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." significant financial decision. Please dont go now. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Let him come out as I do, and bark. John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. 48. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog 4. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Anonymous "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. it has a blue light. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. William A. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. 30. Open up! David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." - Malcolm Forbes. Call the Police. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! Do you have an investment policy statement? For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. Unemployed and Loving It. "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. "It's your turn. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. It's all lazy days from now on! It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that 32. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. Hello Pension. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! A Life Long Friendship. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. As long as youre working, you stay young. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man.
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